FACING LOSS...

"Grief is perhaps an unknown territory for you. You might feel both helpless and hopeless without a sense of a 'map' for the journey. Confusion is the hallmark of a transition. To rebuild both your inner and outer world is a major project."

- Anne Grant -

Myths and Facts About Grief

MYTH: The pain will go away faster if you ignore it.

Fact: Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it.

MYTH: It’s important to be “be strong” in the face of loss.

Fact: Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. You don’t need to “protect” your family or friends by putting on a brave front. Showing your true feelings can help them and you.

MYTH: If you don’t cry, it means you aren’t sorry about the loss.

Fact: Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one. Those who don’t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it.

MYTH: Grief should last about a year.

Fact: There is no right or wrong time frame for grieving. How long it takes can differ from person to person.

Source: Center for Grief and Healing

Ya, benar. Sangat benar. Kadang² yang kita perlukan saat hati sedang terluka, bukanlah kata² semangat (yang adakala tak memberi semangat pun), tapi hanya moral support..

2 hari lepas, satu kehilangan besar berlaku. Sahabat yang aku sayangi, kehilangan suami tercinta buat selamanya. Dalam keadaan sangat bahagia, sekelip mata dia kehilangan soulmate, buat selamanya..

Again, no words can describe the loss.. Aku pernah merasa kehilangan.. Untuk pertama kali dalam hidup, aku kehilangan.. Pada 2012.. The pain, was unbearable.. I once though I could never face the world again..

But I got up, stood up and walk again. After 2 years..

Sahabat, kehilangan bukan sesuatu yang kita minta.. Malah bukan yang kita cipta pun.. Apa yang dimahukan hanyalah hati untuk mengerti.. Betapa kehilangan ini membawa separuh jasad dan nyawanya pergi bersama.. Usahlah kita tambah deritanya dengan kata² seperti "kena redho", "bawak bersabar" dan sebagainya..

Pilihlah untuk menenangkan.. Bukan menambah duka dan laranya.. Sahabatku itu, ku peluk erat, lama, menangis bersamanya, dan ku bisikkan, "Sahabat, sabar itu bukan perkataan yang tepat untuk dituturkan. But I need you to be strong. Your kids need you. You need to take care of yourself."

Dalam pada jiwa merintih, kehilangan boleh menjadi punca kepada masalah lain.. Pilihlah untuk berada erat disisinya.. Pilihlah untuk terus memberi dia rasa bahawa dia masih disayangi.. 

Only time will heal.. Only TIME..